I am 25 years old,
This is my love story.
It didn’t start of bad, actually it started of so well that it felt like I was in a fairy tale.
We first met at a work conference, we clicked straight away; we had so much in common, same sense of humor and our first date lasted 16 hours and had our second date the next day.
Everything was great, the only thing that was slight issue was that my partner would lose their temper sometimes; but you know it was that often and we did have stressful jobs, so it wasn’t something that stood out as a major issue.
Our relationship was flourishing, the sexual chemistry was intense, I never had it so good and five months in it was starting to feel serious; that felt good to me, I was falling in love.
We decided to live together, the only issue that kept popping up was my partners mood changes and anger.
Sometimes this would effect home-life, it would feel tense coming home, even getting shouted at for things that weren’t really big issues seemed to be triggering.
If I was late home after work, I was accused of cheating, if I wanted to go to the gym, I was trying to impress other people or meet new people. If I wanted to see friends I obviously wasn’t happy at home that i needed more people in my life.
So in the end I wasn’t seeing friends, I wasn’t going out and my behavior was changing just so i could avoid having another argument.
But arguments would still occur, I wasn’t caring enough, I wasn’t good enough, I wasn’t doing enough and if I wasn’t in the mood to have sex then there was something wrong with me or I was cheating.
The first time i was punched in the face, is because I forgot the bread off the shopping list.
It was an accident, there was remorse “Sometimes i cant control myself, but I love you so much”.
This toxic chain of events continued for a long old while, except the violent behavior started to escalate more and more,
Whether it was was hitting me with objects, pouring boiling water on me as punishment, cutting me, spitting in my face and pulling my hair.
It was only when I bumped into an old friend who noticed there was something wrong with me is the day i broke down and told someone what was going on.
I needed help, I didn’t want to do this anymore, but i was worried and ashamed. My friend asked me why I was so worried about what people would say?
“Because i’m a man and she’s a woman- no one will get it, people will say why don’t you man up, your stronger then her, why you taking it- no one will understand – more people will laugh because how did a petite woman take over my life, hurt me, over and over again, this kind of stuff doesn’t happen to a man does it?
But it does….
It happens everyday, it happens to 2.4 million men in the U.K yearly that report it.
Abuse is gender neutral.